


Seriously? Him?

by Aragorn_II_Elessar



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Imagination, Jokes, Not for Riley fans, Post-Episode: s05e14 Smile Time, Pre-Episode: s05e15 A Hole In The World
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27417364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aragorn_II_Elessar/pseuds/Aragorn_II_Elessar
Summary: Angel and Spike cockfight over Buffy before finding some common ground. Pure crack fic. Not for Riley fans.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 7





	Seriously? Him?

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Buffyverse or anything else you may recognize
> 
> Now I'm personally a Spuffy and Cangel shipper, not a Bangel person at all, but I just think this idea would be really hilarious.
> 
> I'm not a fan of Angel and Spike cockfighting over Buffy, since its character regression for both of them (especially Angel) but this idea just wouldn't let me go.
> 
> Again, this is not for fans of Riley Finn, so if you like him, don't read.
> 
> This takes place between 'Smile Time' and 'A Hole in the World.'

Los Angeles, Wolfram and Hart

"Oh come on!" Spike said to Angel. "You and Buffy were just immature, teenage lovers! I was the more mature one!"

"Of course, so mature you can't even tell her you're alive, isn't that right, Spike?" Angel asked, looking up at him with a glare.

"That's different", Spike said.

"Our love is much purer, like in the stories", Angel told him. "I fell in love at first sight-"

"Wait what?" Spike asked. "Say it again- first sight?"

"Yeah!" Angel said.

"What was she doing?" Spike asked.

"Uhhhh…..slaying?" Angel said.

"Liar", Spike snarled.

"Okay, sucking on a lollipop!" Angel said.

"And how old was she, eh?" Spike smirked.

"Urmmmmmmmmmm….." Angel trailed off again.

"Let's see, when I met her, she was 17, and you knew her since she's 16, so when you fell in love with her, she had to be 16 at most", Spike said to Angel, who gulped. "You bloody creep!"

"Well, at least I fell in love, you had an unhealthy obsession with her since you saw her!" Angel said.

"I was soulless mate, you had a soul, but you were still a creep", Spike said and Angel sighed. "And even after that, I went after her when she was 20 for God's sake. And my love turned pure and unconditional when my soul returned. You broke up with her before prom."

"I wanted to let her live her life!" Angel snapped.

"Still, breaking up before prom is a horrible thing to do", Spike smirked. "Unless you can't dance that is."

Angel's eyes widened.

* * *

_At the prom, everyone, especially Buffy, who looked humiliated, watched as Angel waved his hands around with a funny expression at a trendy dance tune._

_He smiled as he waved his hands and body like that before joining his hands and doing a flowing wave motion while he spun around._

_He continued waving his hands and body and also clapped like a child with a smile on his face at the music._

_He then spun around, pointing his fingers at everyone around in a dancing motion, and continued waving his hands and body._

_Buffy had her face in her hands while the rest were laughing as Xander said. "This is why I didn't approve of them!"_

" _Can't believe I wanted to go out with him!" Cordelia said._

" _Well, at least I can counter that with my own amazing dance moves", Wesley said._

" _I thought he was cool and broody, he sucks more than me", Willow said._

" _Well, at least he is providing entertainment, I think that will make him happy. Not perfectly happy I hope", Oz said, sipping his drink._

" _Buffy should have let the hellhounds invade this prom", Giles muttered as he sipped his drink._

* * *

Angel looked traumatized at what he had just imagined as Spike said. "But then she followed you with an even bigger idiot before she fell in love with her one true love, that is me."

"Followed me", Angel trailed off and remembered. "Oh that clean shaven guy with the straight hair, right?"

"Riley", Spike reminded.

"Yeah, Riley!" Angel said, remembering. "Oh that guy was such a weirdo."

"I know right?" Spike said. "I mean, what did she see in him?"

"I came back to Sunnydale and he was all like", Angel stood in a firm position, mocking Riley, and said in a mock commanding tone. ""Now what could have happened that made you perfectly happy?""

Spike and Angel laughed hysterically as Spike said. "Oh, and there was this one time where he came to threaten me, and stabbed me with a plastic stake."

Both laughed again as Angel asked. "Okay, if he wanted to threaten, then why come with a plastic stake?"

"That's what I'm bloody talking about!" Spike said as their laughter was heard in the entire floor now.

"And he cheated on Buffy with Vampire whores in a Vampire whorehouse because he didn't feel needed enough!" Spike said and their laughter increased, as they even banged the table in between their laughter.

"So he got even more pathetic than when I'd met him!" Angel laughed, both of them now having their hands over each other's shoulders like old friends.

* * *

"What is the commotion?" Wesley asked Gunn as he stood with Fred.

"I got no idea, folks", Gunn said. "They were at each other's throats, then suddenly they are laughing like drunk buddies."

"Well, good thing they're working out their issues in a healthy way", Fred said.

* * *

"And then he was like- "I saved you, Buffy! Why are you annoyed?"" Spike said as he and Angel continued laughing.

"Buffy said she wanted to talk to me alone, he didn't leave the room, so I and Buffy went out of the room", Angel said and both laughed hysterically again.

Like that, they continued bonding over how much Riley sucked, at least up until the astronauts vs. cavemen argument was brought up.

**Author's Note:**

> So hope all enjoyed.
> 
> Also, here's another reason why Spuffy is better. Spike was on the cavemen's side, and Buffy became Neanderthal in 'Beer Bad', so Spuffy is better.
> 
> Anyway, hope everyone had a laugh and see you all next time with another update! Stay safe from the coronavirus ya all!


End file.
